7 Months of Bad Luck and Stupidity with an Angry-Dragon and a Trap
by The Discord Musketeers
Summary: Not even 3 months in and the weight of the world is already placed on three individuals who are classified as: Smart-ass King, Angry Idiot, and a Reasonable Trap. But take out one from the three and ya get an uncontrollable duo who might bring the end of the world themselves. Well... there are 7 more months right?


"Okay… where did Sun go- Ack!" A sudden feeling of pain erupted all over Alexander Grands face as the tiny fist of a short male lodged its way into his cheek. His head flicked to the side and his body rocked with him to the ground. The daze of the sudden hit literally scrambled his brain as his hands moved like lightning to his cheek.

"Okay, what did I do now!?" the large male shouted angrily as he glared at the shorter male giving him a smug look.

"Oh I don't know. It's not like you were mind controlled by some sort of ancient evil a few minutes ago and was forced to try and destroy us. Of course not, I just punched you for no apparent reason because I want to." The effeminate looking boy replied sarcastically.

He let his glare fall yet his left eye twitched in annoyance at the sarcastic remark. In many ways, he was confused with what happened and his gap in memories added to fact that he was hurting all over his body and in addition, things around them were either on fire or destroyed.

"Crap… it's really that bad," he said, looking around the destroyed area then shifting his focus on the one who punched him, "Did… I kill anyone?" he called out with a shaky voice.

"No, it was fortunate that you didn't kill anyone. I was literally one second away from sending you into the center of the sun."

Chuckling at that, Alex slowly but surely got onto his feet. In doing so, many sounds of cracking was heard from his body. He chalked it up as broken or already broken bones trying to heal or mend itself. "How bout a rundown? What happened and where did Sun go? Why is my head hurting and did you get even cuter?" He gripped his head that was racked with pain.

"You got controlled by someone who is probably evil. Your head is hurting because Sun punched you with...I think the wrath of one thousand Suns...I am so sorry for that pun. And I didn't get cuter, your standards of "cute" just became lower due to brain hijacking."

"Oh… what a fast summary." he stumbled forward growling. "Now onto more pressing matters. Whoever the hell it was that just wolverined me better pray that I won't tear off their balls and feed it to them."

"Of course I'm making that summary fast and short. This isn't Naruto, we're not doing a flashback every time an atom moves."

Huffing out small smolders of fire, Alex nodded. "So… Satoru, we need to get out of here asap… I smell some unneeded guests coming in on metal- Oh crap I think we alerted the entirety of the supernatural world!"

"...speaking of which, I'm wishing it back to normal." Right as he said that, the burning and broken buildings around them just...unnaturally returned to the state before they were damaged.

Blinking, he shrugged his shoulders and held out his hand towards the boy. He had a urgent look on his face. "I'm smelling lots of scents… not human and they're B-lining it over here. We need to go."

"...nah, I can just resolve it peacefully rather than making them search for us endlessly." Satoru was awfully calm about this, like he thinks they aren't a threat.

He faltered in his reach and his eyes lacked the confidence from before. In reality, he wasn't sure if he did hurt someone. "Look… peaceful is good. But I don't think half of them are here for a peaceful talk!" a twitch of his nose and he smelt the ocean and ozone… with them both having what smelled like divinity.

"You don't seem to get it, do you? I can just wish for the abilities and experiences of Beerus. And if worse comes to worse, I can wish them away."

His eyes narrowed at what Satoru said. "Look, I get it, you have the power compared to GOD himself… but look at it this way and please think on this… It's just you and me. I'm an idiot and you have a fucking mouth on you. So if- Why are you pointing behind me?"

"...turn around."

Taking a deep breath Alex, shook his head no. "In this situation… it's best not to." Was he scared? Yes. Yes he was. His wounds had completely healed but his mental state was in need to be called into question after what had happened only a few minutes ago.

He wasn't right in the head at the moment and with this as a fact.. he was unstable. He could lash out at anything given his mood and his powers still held question to him. Anything could happen and with… the majority of the supernatural world behind him he was shaking from all the different scents he was picking up. It was like he was having a mental breakdown.

"..just let me deal with this. I wish you would stay still and quiet while I deal with this." He then turned his attention to the crowd behind Alex.

His body relaxed and he went mute. Alex himself had listened to what Satoru said with understanding.

Standing on literal air a man- Which what Alex would describe him as a Macho man Randy Savage lookalike- floated down with a thick white beard as electricity bounced off his muscles and his eyes glowed white. Long grey streaks of hair cascaded down his back with his white robe shuttering as he made contact with the ground.

A leveled look from the God of the Sky was sent to the two but more so the child who was walking towards the rest of his faction and every other faction. "Speak girl, for I shall allow an explanation to be heard."

"So uh, here's what happened a few moments ago. Two powerful beings decided to duke it out in this area so I decided to come here and fix the mess they caused. Thankfully, nobody died. That's good because it will spare some of you the paperwork." He gestured towards the Death Gods in the crowd of Supernatural beings.

"So you claim a battle of epic proportions had occurred not only moments ago and "You" had decided to just fix the mess?" He felt a hand on his shoulder and the glowing white eyes of the Sky God looked to see a 'woman' shorter than him by a large margin.

"...yes, Lord Zeus...you are correct. Please, allow me to introduce myself. I am Satoru, the God of Wishes and Destruction…" He started to give off electricity "...mainly wishes though. Also, I am a guy."

He faltered at what he heard… and so did the rest of the males in the group. Then his focus went to the still frozen male over there. Somewhere.

"Though, I am not sure if I still classify as a male considering I've changed genders so many times that I can't even remember my original gender…"

He grimaced at hearing that. "Yes… many of my kin have had a lot of experience of gender swapping.

"Wait a minute… my form is really feminine so… I think I was originally female…"

"Enough about you!" He boomed and directed his attention over to Alex. "And of him? He has yet to move from his spot and even remotely say anything." Concluded the God of the sky. So with a wave of his hand, two males from the group made there way behind him.

"Oh him? He's just a friend who's currently very...unstable. I put him in a perpetual state of calmness so he won't piss off literally everyone here and get himself killed.. like an idiot."

"A mortal with bad manners?" he chuckled as his mind went back to a certain Son of Poseidon.

"More like.. his powers are making him angry all the time. I'm helping him try to control it. I even tried enrolling him for Anger Management class but he almost killed his teacher…"

He huffed and nodded. "If that is all, would you min-" A hand pushed his head out the way from behind while he was in the middle of talking as a figure with a large smile was now in front of Satoru.

"Hey there cutie. What might your name be~" His voice was not his own as he changed it on purpose to sound more attractive. "Lots of mortals know me as the sexy hunk of the sun… Apollo. Mind if I just shine my light over your flag?" He winked.

"..." he just stared blankly at Apollo and turned his head to look at the Greek Gods...and then he stared at Apollo again, "...I am currently a male."

He did not falter like the rest, "I've had many… cute young men in my temple before. You wouldn't be the first." If Alex had been over here… Satoru was sure he would've killed the Greek God of the sun.

He stared at the Greek Gods with a look that said "help me."

The only person that came to his rescue was Apollo's sister or the goddess of the moon: Artemis. Swiftly and smoothly, she grabbed his ear and teleported away.

Coughing out loud to get Satoru's attention and having an annoyed look in his eyes, Zeus had regained control of the conversation. "Now, explain what or who were the ones battling."

"I...actually don't know. Whoever those beings are, their punches probably briefly send them to other universes which damages the area in that specific universe. Before I came here, this area was full of burning and broken down buildings...and somehow, nobody died."

His eyes locked with the younger god. Doubt plagued his mind and he attempted to ask if he held Greek allegiance or if he was of Shinto loyalty. Then, his eyes crossed and narrowed towards the frozen male. Divinity was in his blood… and he was Greek. That was as much as the King of Gods knew. But like his friend Odin, he himself would let this go. In the end, he nodded and spoke to Satoru for much longer as rest of the Divine beings left. The monsters as well as their youkai counterparts left as well.

"I guess it is time for myself to leave." Zeus said and nodded towards Satoru. "One more thing, keep my sister's son safe." In a flash of light. He was gone.

"...well then Alex, time to go-" Alex was still frozen...that means that there's still some gods here.

He grunted very loudly from where he was relaxing, obviously notifying Satoru to come to him.

He walked towards the still frozen Alex.

"... et… yee… out…" His eyes glowed red and scales formed across his face. His fangs grew even sharper… did he notice the many visible veins on his forehead? Or the pissed off look on his face?

"Yes, I know you're pissed off. But please stay frozen for a little bit longer. I think we still have some gods wanting to talk to us." Was… that… growling he heard?

The sound of a sword being unsheathed was heard and a sharp blade pressed up against Satoru's neck. In his own vision, an old fashioned gun was at Alexander's left temple as spears surrounded the two.

"...so uh, can I help you with anything?" Satoru said to the person who pressed the blade up against his neck.

Sounds of feet shuffling and noises of what he could describe as some sort of gear or clothing. Nothing was said and everything was quiet… besides Alex's raging grunts and the stiffness of his movements as he tried to break free from the wish's binds on him… which was slowly happening by the second because Satoru was going to revoke his bindings if things go south.

"You know, you don't have to press a blade up against my neck for me to answer your questions. Just ask me like a normal person would do. This is just senseless violence."

Nothing was said still, and Satoru was violently shoved to the ground. As this happened… I don't think anything needs to be said. Alex is pissed.

"If it's about the God of Wishes and Destruction thing. No, I am not a part of your faction despite me being Japanese." The person behind Satoru seemed to tense up.

"Yes, I know you're a part of the Shinto faction. I can tell by the fact that you are pressing a katana against my throat. Or...you're a weeaboo, but I think you're a part of the Shinto faction."

Feeling glare on his back and a large hand grip his shoulder he was violently brought to his feet. Blinking multiple times, a bag was placed over Satoru's head. He heard the muffled voices of about 20 to 30 people.

He sighed… he didn't want to use his powers so soon. But he had to. The bag over his head suddenly bursts into flames as Satoru's body seem to be suddenly covered in fire. Highly reminiscent of the Human Torch.

"Please, I want to resolve this peacefully. No need to kidnap me or anything. I just said you could ask me anything without resorting to violence. By the way, the person who kidnapped me didn't look badass, he just looks like a pedophile with a katana trying to kidnap a kid."

"Quiet!" The man behind Satoru shouted then he suddenly let go due to the fact that Satoru's body was suddenly covered in fire.

"I'm just telling the truth, you looked like a weeaboo pedophile trying to kidnap a kid." A few giggles could be heard from the people near them.

Waving his hands, the giggles had stopped on command. He brought his blade up and pointed it towards the child and glared underneath his kabuto.

"Alright alright, I'll stop messing around. So, what business do you have with poor old me, divine sir?"

Closing his outstretched hand into a fist, the men and women around the downed man and child moved forward on command with blades out.

The not-trap let out an exasperated sigh. "You know, you all could just stop being so damn hostile and talk to me like a civilized group. I'm trying to peaceful here."

"You are an unknown! A possible enemy on our lord's front door!" He stomped forward shouting. "It is within our jurisdiction that we apprehend you and the dragon!"

"You know, if I was REALLY an enemy, you all wouldn't be breathing right now. Would you?" Satoru's eyes glowed a dangerous looking red color. "If I was literally ANY OTHER god of destruction, you all would be dead the moment you tried that bag trick."

He did not back down yet he shivered at the sight alongside his own troops. "Then if you were an ally… you would put away everything and anything and shut that beast down. Now." He gestured his hand towards the downed dragon that was almost free.

"Oh him? Don't worry about him, I wish that he would calm down. His anger keeps getting the better of himself." As those words left his mouth, Alex felt himself become calmer...back the state he almost broke free of. "There, now can you all lower your weapons?"

His eyes flickered then he nodded. The one barely holding down Alex suddenly smashed the butt of his knife into his eyes and the rest began to swarm him beating him. "Kneel child. We are aware of his durability… he won't die."

"Now that's not nice is it? If you actually want me as an ally, you wouldn't beat up a friend of mine would you?" Saying this, the child emitted power that was on par with gods. "That's just rude, really rude of you to do so."

Turning his sights to the multiple samurais. "I wish that a barrier would appear to protect my friend Alex." A barrier appeared around Alex, shielding him from any further damage.

A maddened growl was heard as the downed Alex began to move underneath the barrier. Fire slowly leaked out of his back and began to take form. The temperature on the street they were on had risen sharply.

"The dragon that you people were heartlessly beating would have burned your existence off the face of the Earth by now if it wasn't for me." As if it was responding to him, the temperature continued rising. He was at the point of almost releasing Alex from his binds just to prove a point.

The heat was burning the air once again as it happened hours prior to this… "event". Images of Sun and Alex going at each other were resurfacing in Satoru's mind. He shook his head and realized that he shouldn't release the dragon...yet.

The samurais soon realized that antagonizing the unknowns wouldn't be very...beneficial to them in a long run. True as this was… they had their orders and even if Yomi was their end. Little did they know, they wouldn't go to Yomi if their souls get destroyed.

"I care little about your threats." His voice was lower than before. "Forward!"

On this shout, his own men moved forward and so did he.

Shaking his head in disappointment, Satoru raised his right hand towards them, his palm didn't seem threatening but...they just knew he was going to do something. "Haka-"

"That's enough!" A feminine voice shouted at them. Then, the samurais were suddenly teleported away from them.

Amber eyes appeared in front of the duo, they looked beautiful, yet ominous. Hands that seemed to belong to the eyes reached out towards Satoru as well as Alex. Though, they seem to be…more enthusiastic in their approach to Satoru.

"Agh!" The roar of Alex shook the barrier and he broke free using pure force and anger. It seems that it takes a lot to break free from a normal wish bind.

His arms and legs looked less fleshy and more… fiery as half his face was forming into the face of a dragon as his human side had drool leaking off his chin. The instincts of a dragon told him to attack the enemy that was in his line of sight.

His fiery clawed arm formed into a fist as he swung with half his full force. Somehow… nothing happened… only because golden chains held back his outstretched arm, yanking him back from his momentum. But the unexpected happened as the chained arm of the dragon gripped the chains, pulling them back. The sound of cracking was heard as he fought with the owner of the chains which was Satoru who was holding the chains to prevent the maddened dragon from going on a rampage

Suddenly, a clone of Satoru appeared behind Alex and chopped the back of his neck, rendering him unconscious.

"Phew, glad I was able to stop him before he could cause any collateral damage.. it would be bad if any innocents get caught up in this." He then turned to look at the eyes. "Sorry about that, he has...anger issues."

The hand retracted and the eyes narrowed with pain, ignoring the words being told. A blue fire erupted from the ground and with a swing of the hand, two balls of blue flames soared past Satoru and Alex, burying into the ground behind him. The unknown eyes flickered and they disappeared.

"Until next time." The same feminine voice rang out. And everything was silent.

* * *

Golden eyes slowly opened and an annoyed moan was heard. The same golden eyes scanned the area of this new room and he saw multiple doors that lead to different rooms he didn't know of.

"What the…?" The man let out as he shook his head and cracked his neck, arms, shoulders, and knuckles. He noticed that he was sleeping on a couch before he woke up… meaning he was no longer in battle and so was Satoru.

"Where the hell even is that brat?"

"Right over here." Satoru walked into the room through an open door while holding a bag with a big M logo on it.

Standing up at his full height, he rushed over, looking at his arms and legs in concern, Alexander glared at the boy. "Next time when I say we leave… no questions. No damn questions Satoru!"

Satoru just stared back at him with no emotion in his eyes, at all. It was starting to creep him out. "Here, wished you some McDonald's." He handed over the bag to Alex.

The bag was swiftly taken out of the boy's hands. Alex took out a… single double cheeseburger. He stared. "Not even five…?"

"...you want me to wish for a bucket of endless KFC original recipe fried chicken wings?"

He grinned then frowned as he sat down on the couch and bit down without even taking off the wrapper of the burger… he actually ate it whole.

"Even the wrapper is consumed…" he sweat dropped at the site of someone consuming the burger in one fell swoop.

Sitting on the couch, Alex patted the seat next to him with a serious expression on his face. "Come on, sit let's talk about... Some things."

"...yeah no, I don't think I like the way at how you paused and then said 'some things'."

"You don't have to like it. It's needed." He didn't care at the moment and he was calmer and level headed enough to talk about… the fuck up as he'd call it. "Sit."

"Alright, but if you try anything, I will guarantee that you will feel pain beyond pain."

Regardless, Alex raised a brow at the threat but he nodded. He watched as Satoru moved over next to him and sat down on the couch.

"So what do you want to talk about?"

"First things first." He placed his left hand on Satoru's head giving him a pat but he slapped the hand away. "You took over the situation with relative ease and even dealt with my rage better than Sun. But know one thing."

Alex glared at Satoru. "Show some understanding and some expression on that cute face of yours. People might think you're a robot out in the normal world. So start acting like it." It was harsh and to the point but he was at his limit with the lack of humanity and the want of more control.

"..eh, I'll try. No promises though."

"Promise or not. Get used to it kid, because like it or not, you're human still. You're alive and I don't give a damn about your power and the world out there won't either." A sad look was given and he reached out again but his hand was swatted away.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. I came here to give you that bag and uh well… give you some really bad news."

"Can you tell me later? I'm tired and I need-" Alex shot to his feet with realization on his face. "Where's Sun!?"

"You killed him…. just kidding. He went on a long training trip with Solomon to master his powers. So he basically ditched us."

"..." He didn't like that. "You know this… how?"

"Solomon came out of nowhere and told me. That question you just asked me was just ASKING for a flashback. Thankfully, this isn't Naruto."

"You need to stop dissing Naruto. I grew up with that show!" Alex shouted with a sad look on his face.

"I grew up with Naruto too, and I have no problems with dissing it." A smirk crept up to his face.

His left eye twitched. "Can't believe I got along with you."

"Now, for the bad news. Shinya is here and he is extremely evil.."

"And you know this how?" He asked with curiosity as it shadowed his shock.

"Again with the flashback baiting questions. I swear, you really want a flashback to happen." He shook his head in disappointment.

Grabbing Satoru by the head, Alex was starting to get a little pissed. "You done with the smart talk cutie?" He glared.

"Now you're just asking me to punch you with the force that is strong enough to split a planet in half."

"In the end, we would just start fighting." He concluded and rolled his eyes while letting go of him as he hit the floor. He was just that tall compared to Satoru.

He stood back up and glared at Alex. "So, I know Shinya is here because I had a talk with the woman those eyes belonged to. He is apparently threatening her because he wants her to kill us. If she fails, the daughter of her priestess and the entirety of Japan will die." He was blunt and straight to the point, no flashback needed.

"What is his beef with us!?" He shouted out because of the simple expected bullshit behind the reasoning.

"I honestly have no idea. But if I see him, I will smack him 50 meters into the ground with my finger." He said that so casually like it was normal.

Walking over to the door where Satoru came in from, Alex shook his head. "Imma clear the place so I can have a feast on some McDonald's while I watch some Rating Games. In the meantime... let's lie low." Suddenly he stopped and turned to look back. "Wanna sit on my lap?" He smirked.

A delayed response "...I am not your pet cat, you know?"

"So? Plus, I need some food and you're the closest supermarket near me." He brought his left hand up and cupped his chin in a mocking pose as f he was thinking deeply about what he said. "And I wouldn't mind you sitting on my lap." He smirked again laughing.

"That's it. I'm destroying your face." Satoru's eyes glowed red as he jumped at Alex with his fist outstretched.

And so, this was the start of a very eventful seven months.

* * *

 **END**

 **AGnetik: Enjoy bitches, I wanted a yaoi fanfic but this will do. Hehehehehehehehehehehe.**

 **Omnideus: Fuck your yaoi. I just want a side story with eventful er...events. By the way readers, don't you dare complain about the Naruto disses. You know they are true.**

 **AGnetik: Ehhhhh…. I want some Yaoi to be honest even tho I'm a guy.**

 **Omnideus: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! NO YAOI! REEEEEE! Also readers, don't call me a homophobic for not liking yaoi. It's simply one's personal preference.**

 **AGnetik: I love making fun of you. It's fun.**

 **Omnideus: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

 **AGnetik: Regardless if ya hadn't noticed readers, this is taking place between the flashback and the present from our other story, Discord in DxD. That's all and hoped you all had a time reading it!**


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